Ramblings of a Blonde Brunette

Today I am feeling completely overwhelmed with emotions….so many of them I don’t even know where to begin. Pride is the biggest one. After 12 weeks of intense training and no voice contact with my middle son, I got word this morning that he finished the grueling Crucible and earned his EGA and official Marine title on the top of the Reaper!! I never had a doubt that he’d do it, but the worried mom side of me was terrified that he’d get hurt or get sick, or somehow something would happen to him that would get in the way of his dream. If you know anything at all about the Crucible, you know how demanding it is physically, mentally, emotionally……I didn’t sleep, my stomach has been in knots, and my anxiety level has been topped out. This morning during the countdown to the final hours, my goosebump level jumped up several notches, and when I got word he was a Marine, I broke. I’m still crying!! Happy tears, proud tears, and tears of anticipation that in one week from today I can wrap my arms around him and give him the squeeze of all squeezes. It’s been a long time coming!! This was never what I wanted for him if I’m being completely honest. He had his future planned out, had gotten into his college of choice, and was set on a major. His future was mapped out. Then one day, the recruiter called and I found out he’d been considering the Marines. I wasn’t super happy, out of pure selfishness, but I went along with him to the first meeting, then the second, then to sign his enlistment papers. I watched him change in a matter of months and needed to support him if that’s what he wanted to do. I’ve never seen him more dedicated to anything so I knew it’s what he wanted. Saying goodbye was not easy. In fact, it’s probably in the top 3 of the worst things I’ve ever had to do. I’ve never wanted to grab one of my kids and stop them from doing something more than the day he walked away from us at the airport. Three long months and a few random letters later, my 18 year old is suddenly a United States Marine and I’m the proudest I’ve ever been. Sometimes life throws you a hell of a curveball and you wonder how you’ll stay in the game and come out winning. It worked out. It usually does. We tend to get so caught up in the negative that there is no big picture to see at first. Trust your timing. I’ve learned this in so many ways the past few years. You are where you’re supposed to be and it’s all on God’s timing.